inkpixelsandportals

It’s been a slightly different rhythm over the past couple of weeks with my husband away.

In some ways, things have actually been easier on my own. There are fewer moving parts to consider and I can settle into a routine that works for me without needing to coordinate quite so much. That has been an unexpected relief and a reminder that sometimes a simpler rhythm can make everyday tasks feel more manageable.

But easier doesn’t necessarily mean better. There have still been genuine struggles and the biggest has been loneliness. The house feels different without my partner here. Even when I’m busy, I miss the companionship of having someone nearby to share the ordinary moments with. Some days have also felt heavier than they needed to, especially when I’ve caught myself overthinking small decisions or getting stuck in the loop of “I should be doing more.”

There have been real wins. I’ve managed to keep things ticking along, making progress on a few long-postponed tasks, and proving (again) that I am capable even when the support structure looks different. There’s something quietly satisfying about meeting a week head-on and finding that it works.

In the quieter moments, I’ve been watching the Chinese drama Ashes to Crown, which I’m absolutely loving. My favourite song at the moment is Ma Jiaqi’s “Thousands and Thousands of Blossoms” (or at least, I think that’s the English translation) from Veil of Shadows. It simply makes my heart happy, I feel like dancing every time I hear it. Just a side note; I can not dance. At all.

Just for fun, I’ve also been learning Chinese. It’s an incredibly difficult language, but I’m beginning to recognise a few characters and sounds, which feels like a small triumph of its own. I know it will take time before I can properly follow along, but I’m enjoying the challenge.

More than anything, this stretch has been a reminder to aim for sustainable, not perfect. To celebrate the small completions, to take breaks before I feel desperate for them and to be a little kinder in the internal commentary.

My husband will be back soon and I’m looking forward to having him home. I’m also taking a small sense of pride from these weeks, the mix of loneliness, unexpected ease, messy moments and meaningful progress. A reminder that resilience is simply showing up, again and again.